Self-judgment is negative self-talk

Judgment from the world can be scary, but do not let it come in the way and overshadow your passion. Each one of us holds non-identical views. Being affected by everyone’s viewpoint is a waste of time; it contributes to confusion and doubt in the mind. We must listen to everyone’s viewpoint, try to grab what is relevant to us, and drop the rest. We cannot change or control anyone’s view. What we can do is be least affected by it, and stay focused on what we are supposed to do.

It does not matter whether you are doing your best in life or the other way round, you will always be judged. A human brain never stops thinking. We will always be bombarded by multiple perceptions. To some, you may be an idol, and to others, you may not. Acting upon our actions based on what others think will only slow down our pace and cause delays in completing our goals.

Getting rid of self-judgment is the first step before getting rid of the side effects of being judged by others. Self-judgment is something triggered by internal factors, it does not necessarily involve judgments from the world.

What happens when we judge ourselves?

I bet many of us are unaware that self-judgment creates more hindrances than being judged by others. We all judge ourselves daily creating doubts, confusion, and an inability to make the right decisions. As I said, the human brain is always on the run. We analyze ourselves or compare our lives to others on a daily basis. Either we get too relaxed or crib about certain things when comparing our lives with others. In both scenarios, there is a possibility of getting carried away and losing our path. Avoid being too harsh on yourself. Accept your emotions and be friends with yourself first. Be your own superstar in your head first.

Self-doubt and fear of unpleasant consequences are the by-products of self-judgment.

Self-doubt and fear:

The most difficult thing in life is to know oneself. How will we know whether our plan of action will work or not if we get stuck in a web of self-judgment even before starting it? Self-judgment creates thoughts related to the uncertainty of being successful in carrying out action plans. It is absolutely normal to not be great at everything we do. It is absolutely normal to try a different approach to doing things that others may not understand. It is absolutely normal even when we do nothing at all, or work at our own pace. Until and unless we understand our own feelings and needs, we will not be able to get comfortable and accept the current situation as the first step.

Lack of appreciation, feedback, and support from others:

Self-judgment is created when we aren’t bestowed with the desired appreciation and support for our actions. The result is demotivation. If we are confident enough and satisfied with what we are doing, it will certainly fetch us good results, going forward. Do not get carried away too easily if you get a neutral response from the outside world. Continue giving it your best shot. Every plan takes time to fetch fruitful results.

Comparing our life to others:

Everyone has a different goal in life and different levels of capability. It is baseless to compare our lifestyle with others. Everyone has their own reasons behind their actions. Getting carried away with what others are doing may land us in confusion, and this is where we start to judge ourselves. Focus on what you want to do. Give yourself a chance. Get into the vibe and you will experience the energy favoring you, which will give you confidence in what you are doing. It may be a good idea to give yourself a break from social media to avoid distraction.

Multiple unsuccessful attempts:

Not getting the desired result even after multiple attempts is one of the factors influencing our judgment about ourselves. It is advisable to try a completely different approach to things if the old methods do not work. Instead of doubting oneself, try to use a different approach, whichever works best for you. No harm in asking for guidance from someone who has more experience.

Insufficient gratitude:

Being caught in a web of self-judgment, we forget to value things we have in hand. We forget to be thankful for the good things we have. First of all, when we practice gratitude, we tend to bring positivity to our thoughts. This helps in raising our morale. The situation could have been worse if we did not have the valuable assets we have right now. The moment we express gratitude in life, the feeling of anxiety and fear starts to reduce. We think that the cause of our anxiety, fear, and anger is either caused by a person or an event. But actually, it is our own image in our mind, which we are unable to change.

Hang out with the people who bring the best in you:

A circle of good friends, whether small or big, creates a huge impact on how comfortable and happy you feel around them. It is advisable to stay away from toxic people. People who don’t judge you directly, but continue to create unpleasant situations or conversations which make you uncomfortable. Hence, hanging out with the people who bring the best is therapy in itself.

Try to see your life from the third-eye’s perspective:

There is a common saying: grass is always greener on the other side. This says it all. Things beyond our reach always seem tempting. We are curious to know or grab things that we don’t have. Try to see your life from a third-eye perspective. Paying attention to your own qualities or things you are good at can change the whole self-image in your mind. This helps big time in boosting confidence. Bring out the teenager in you, the one who was happy and proud to flaunt all his/her belongings. Try out different ways, whichever works best for you.

Stay connected,
Nikita Kohli