Be your own superstar in your head first

EXPECTATIONS?

No, I am not going to talk about expectation hurt and all that stuff.

It is very natural when we are expecting a piece of good news, or when an exciting event is about to take place in our lives, our expectation level rises. It is not easy to control the level of excitement and rush we feel most of the time but wait a minute, we can definitely hold our horses on what we had already planned to do on the basis of our high expectations. Having a fixed mindset and planning things too much in advance is where we might lose the battle. Our morale gets compromised when things do not happen the way we want them to happen. Let us remind ourselves that circumstances change every minute. When a well-planned event does not happen the way we had expected it to happen, we get diverted from our goal and lose the ability to re-think for a while due to the sudden setback. I am sure, right now most of you would be able to relate to what I have mentioned just now.

Having high expectations is not at all a wrong approach, in fact, it is somewhere connected to our dreams and everyone has the right to think big. But one must know when to put a brake on the same. Dream big, feel good, and then come out of that feeling to work on it in the real world. Then set expectations for yourself – Find Your Why –

Refrain from being a crowd-pleaser every time. Sometimes we do things to please others and to get attention. Note: Attention from loved ones and appreciation for hard work from people around us do not last long. Attention is something that is not long-lasting. If your motivation is only based on the attention and appreciation from people around us, then I would say we may get stuck in pleasing others and do things that only draw public attention. To impress only a set of people around us would lead us nowhere. Keep the larger audience into consideration. Some of them may genuinely provide support and some may not, which is absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with seeking attention! Everyone likes it and enjoys the moment. But to put a full stop to it so that we don’t get carried away is important.

Do not let your spark become dull, or lose enthusiasm just because the plan did not go as per wish. Having a high expectation was a part of your thought process. Try doing things that can cheer you up and help you detox from the thoughts which have been pulling you down. You are free to mold your thoughts the way you want to.

Expecting a good appraisal (salary raise) at work is one of the best examples I could use here. I will not go deeper into the subject, but most of us know how it feels when appraisals do not meet our expectations. This does not mean that we stop working, right? Attention, appreciation, and appraisals should not come in your way and hamper your performance. Continue doing what you love doing. Nothing lasts long. You are born to be happy and to feel good about yourself, irrespective of the circumstances. That is all that matters. Also, you can only keep others happy around you, if you are content with yourself. 

As I had mentioned in my previous blog post – Enjoy your mistakes – there is no fun when everything happens the way we want it to be. Meeting expectations each time could lead to unexciting days at times. Accept the randomness around you. Dream big and keep the expectation level decent enough so as to not get carried away with it. An expectation is just a belief, and this is one thing that we own completely, where others do not have a role to play with our expectations and beliefs. Put your heart into what you do, irrespective of the result. Prepare your mindset for both: fruitful as well as unfruitful results. A sudden setback would never be able to touch you then. Mood swings would be easy to control to some extent. 

Be your own superstar in your head!

Stay connected,
Nikita Kohli