Influencers are not the only ones we see on Instagram and other social media sites. I believe, every other person around us is an influence in some way or the other. The aura created around us, at times, is such that we end up doing the same things we see other people doing. Whether we are in a conscious or subconscious mode, we are, most times get influenced by every action taking place around us. And we end up assuming it must be the right thing to do. We follow the rules and rituals blindly, without questioning. Our subconscious mind forces us to believe in certain values to such an extent, that we don’t see the world from our perspective. We believe every action taking place around has some truth and value hidden in it. We don’t see life in a broader sense. We hardly pay attention to what we actually want. We agree to follow the same rules and rituals that others are asking us to follow. It is not wrong to get influenced by those around you. But, before we blindly follow every course of action, we must know whether the same is relevant to us or not. Never allow others to make you believe in false and irrelevant values under any sort of compulsion. Avoid following an imaginary rule book created by those who want to justify their own actions by making others do the same thing.
Steve Jobs once said: “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”.
I had mentioned in my previous blog that one should not feel guilty about saying ‘no’ or refusing to follow the most common rules that have been prevailing for long. Ignoring our choices under the pressure of societal rules is not the smartest thing to do.
Gender stereotyping is something that has been prevalent for a long time. Trying to get oneself fixed in a stereotype image will not make us more acceptable in the society we live in. It will only add to the feeling of being secure, in terms of hiding away in the crowd and trying to avoid being judged by the people. Do not end up as someone else’s clone. In order to get comfortable with our own emotions, we need to learn the not-so-subtle art of being unapologetic. Breaking people’s perceptions regarding a stereotype image is the first step of displaying what freedom means to you. Let everyone accept you the way you are. When we vibe with ourselves, we understand our likes and dislikes better. We get a clear idea of how we want to live life as per our own choices, irrespective of the practices that others expect us to follow. There shouldn’t be any element of guilt involved in doing so.
All of us have been brought up and groomed in a certain way. We have constantly been reminded of the deadlines regarding the right time to do everything in life, since our childhood. All of us, at some point in time, have been told that certain goals should be achieved at a certain age, right from education to everything else we tend to do in our lives. An impressive quote that I came across on LinkedIn states, ”you are scared to take a 4 years course because you are 32 and by the time you are done, you’d be 36. Whether you take the course or not you will still be 36”. The quote seems to be the perfect way to tell us that age is just the number. There is no hard and fast rule as to when and how everything is to be done. We all grew up hearing statements like: By so and so age, education should have been completed. There exists a right age to get married or to start a family, divorces should not take place, and the list goes on endlessly. Who made these rules? Who you are trying to make happy?
I believe every person has the right to live and should have the freedom to follow his or her own course of action. It is okay for anyone to live a life of a bachelor. Companionship should not be tagged as a necessity in life. Getting married or having a kid should not be the only goal in life. Not everyone is meant to be a partner or a parent. I do not say that we should not respect time or go against everything, but one should not be pressurized to do such things. All of us have been reminded and pressurized to live a perfect life. A life that seems perfect from the outside to others, but yourself. So, it is better to follow your heart and intuition, as there is no guarantee of contentment in life.
Whoever tries to bring change in his or her pattern of lifestyle is seen as a rebel. I call such people a ‘free spirit and not a rebel’. Who are we trying to please so much that we feel zero guilt and uneasiness while ignoring our own needs and choices in the first place? No one will ever be genuinely concerned about your state of contentment in life after you have followed the path shown by them. They will naturally assume that you are living a so-called perfect life. But, in reality, you may find yourself lost after some time since you are not following the path of your choices. You may feel hopeless. You may feel that is too late for everything. Well, the good news is, it is never too late to bring a change in your life.
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought. All of us are free to adopt our own beliefs. There should not be any interference in the same, under any circumstances.
Stay connected,
Nikita Kohli